Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Health Nuts

 I’m standing in the middle of the casino wondering if I prefer the punk styling’s of Naked Raygun or the sheer awesomeness of Pegboy, but before I could come to a conclusion, an enormous couple walks up to me. Both of them had a venti Frappuccino in one hand & a bag of Ghirardelli chocolate in the other, I must admit I was a bit jealous. I asked the couple, “Hello is there anything I can help you with?”

 The fat man takes a sip of his Frappuccino & asks me, “Do you have a nonsmoking section?”

 I explained to the guy that we didn't. The fat guy gets all pissy & asks, “why not?”

 I told him some jive shit along the lines of, “this is Las Vegas, a smoker’s paradise! Smoking, drinking, & gambling go together!”

 The fat man is not impressed with this, he takes a swig of his Frappuccino, & says to me with total disgust, “Well, the Treasure Island does, & they even have one of those Big Spin Wheel of Fortune machines.”

 I said nothing to the fat man, but thought to myself, “FUCK YOU!”, & “go back to the Treasure Island, mother fucker!”

 The fat man then says to me “look, I care about my health, you just lost our business” & as he turned away he took a big bite of his Ghirardelli chocolate bar. As he stepped away I busted out laughing, I didn't give a fuck if I lost his business, as far as I’m concerned I hope he dies!

 It’s not like I’m against fat people, for fuck sake I’m fat, but you have to be a total asshole to waddle into a casino & give an employee shit about your health as you stuff yourself with sweets. I wish I had a video of these two fucking, I imagine they do it vanilla.

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