Saturday, May 4, 2013

Condom Memories

 When I was a teenager my dad bought me a huge package of condoms so I wouldn't knock up someone's butt... I am glad he had such confidence in me.

 I ended up using every single one of those condoms, but none of them were used for fucking, some of them I attached to the shower head & filled up with water... you would be surprised how much water you can fit into one of those.

 Others I blew up like a balloon, spit into them, tied them up & threw them at punk bands that were playing. Speaking of throwing shit at bands, sometimes we would buy whitey tighties and smudge food on them so they looked shit stained, then we would throw them at our favorite bands.

 Other times I would put condoms on myself so I would know how to put them on properly, since the rubber was already on I would jerk off. I thought this was pretty neat because the mess would be contained in the condom. Recently I was reminded of all of this so I started asking my friends if they jerked off with condoms on when they were younger & sure enough, just about all of my friends said they did the same thing. It's good to have people to talk to...

 This also reminded me of a time when I was younger and sexually attractive, I got really drunk & had sex with someone yucky*, when I woke up the next morning the condom was off of my penis, but was stuck in my pubic hairs, & this yucky person was saying some weird shit about loving me, gross!

*OK, the person wasn't yucky, I was just trying to put on a show for you.

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