Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Whenever someone asks me why I constantly draw penises I say, “Because they are funny”, then I tell them, “I have a story to tell you”, this is that story.

 In the early 90’s I was living in the Sacramento area, but I played bass in a punk band in Las Vegas. I was also dating a woman that was a lot of fun, for the sake of this story we will call her Stacey. Stacey was great to talk to, a total pervert, & she liked punk rock music, but after a while Stacey started to tell me a bunch of jive shit about Jesus, usually a dick in her mouth stopped the church chatter, but after a while it was more & more Jesus, & less 7 Seconds. I totally dug her, but the “god shit” was getting old pretty fast. I have been an Anti-Christ Superstar since I was a child so this shit was a deal breaker. Luckily, an opportunity to fly to Las Vegas popped up. 10 days with my buddies playing punk rock music was gonna be a blast & it didn't hurt to be away from the holy roller.

When I returned to Sacramento Stacey told me she had enough of my rock n roll bullshit & deserved better than dating someone that disappeared for ten days at a time. Stacey informed me she was dumping me. I was shocked by this since she knew where I was & besides I was always in Las Vegas so it’s not like it was news. I didn't protest the break-up, I figured it was a good time to end the relationship. After Stacey broke up with me she got pissed that I was indifferent about the break up & pleaded for us to get back together. I told her, “fuck off!”

 Fast forward a week and Stacey shows up at my door with some dude, she tells me she would like to talk. I agree to talk & we take a little walk.

Stacey – so I was in Chico this week

Me- cool, what were you doing there?

Stacey – I met some guy

When she told me this I wasn't jealous, but I was annoyed that she was trying to make me jealous.

Me – oh, that’s nice

Stacey – Yeah, he fucked me in the ass

Me- ha

Stacey – how come when he fucked me in the ass it hurt, but when you did, it didn't?

Me – because he has a big dick?

 I then headed back to my house & tried to sneak back inside, but Stacey followed me in. She then took off her clothes & instructed me to fuck her. I protested and she followed me around the house naked, all while her guy friend was waiting outside. This was the last time I saw Stacey, but it wasn't the last time a woman would accuse me of having a small dick.

No comments:

Post a Comment